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It’s not me, it’s you … and this city

05 September 2010

Jake seemingly hasn’t yet escaped from the giant dresser that must have fallen on him a couple of days ago, making him vanish from the blogosphere, but I think I can muster up enough neutral-observer snark to take this one on for him.

It's OK, Robinho. City didn't understand Stephen Ireland, either.

Blaring across the secondary lede on soccernet.com’s homepage today, Robinho has explained why his time at Manchester City ended in such disappointment (for everyone but him, his agent and Real Madrid’s beancounters). There are some fantastic quotes from the new AC Milan midfielder in the piece.

“There was a lack of contact between the players and the club. It was much like an office – to training and goodbye, to a match and goodbye. I am Brazilian and I can’t offer my best performance if I’m not happy in every aspect of life.”

Yeah, don’t you hate it when your job feels like a job? It must be brutal to have to be paid to be a footballer, show up at practice or a match for a total of three to four hours a day and then head home to a smoking-hot WAG or your PS3 or for some quality time with a middle-aged prostitute in a cat suit.

“My destination was Chelsea with Luiz Felipe Scolari but, at the last moment, City appeared and I accepted. I did not decide the transfer.”

Man, these jerseys are a little lighter blue than I thought they’d be. And where’s Big Ben??

“Manchester is a sensational venue for football but an awful place to live … the winter, the cold and the dark nights.”

Well, OK, he has a point here. ­čÖé

And now, on to my favorite quote from the story…

“I am a special footballer and I need to be happy when I’m playing.”

Humble, he is. What was the most special about his tenure at Eastlands was the way he would completely disappear during away matches to the point where it looked like City was playing a man down.

Look, I understand it’s hard for some people, no matter how talented or how much money they command, to move to a different city, let alone country, and try to prosper in a culture foreign to them. But Robinho actually had a decent first season for City, which makes his excuses ring a bit hollow, especially since two separate managers with notably different styles both came to the conclusion that he wasn’t worth the trouble.

I’m sure he’ll find some success in Serie A, principally because 90 percent of that league uses a walker on the pitch, but when he does, I’m sure he’ll attribute it to his being happy and understood, not that he more or less dogged big chunks of a season in the Prem and ultimately was held accountable.

Robinho, thanks for one final piece of comedy. We Prem watchers will fondly recall a couple of your dazzling moments and your cemented status as the face of City’s “Mercenary Stage 1” phase.

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